Ah the UK Open qualifiers
at Riley’s Sports Bars, my world championship. Even as a hacker, it is always
good to have lofty aims to practice for and this certainly fits the bill. I
hold no ambitions of winning a darts tournament in my life ever at my level,
but just to be involved is enjoyable enough for me.
Practice in the build up
to this was going fairly terribly. Struggling to get past level 2 on the Russ
Bray app (there are 10 levels) averaging 30…with three darts…isn’t much to
write home about. So the tactic was simple, try to relax, enjoy it, mingle and
live score and tweet updates when not playing.
Upon arrival, things
seemed different to last year. For a start it was heaving. Odd I thought,
considering this one is normally capped to 64 participants. Of course it
quickly became apparent that the field was double the size due to two UK Open
spots being up for grabs at this one. Fair enough…better start looking up the
night buses…
After causing much
confusion at the bar when redeeming my drinks voucher for my customary orange
juice (I don’t drink) I was off to join the throng of players queuing up at the
ten boards available. I have to say, the setup was excellent. My warm-up went
reasonably ie at least two of my darts were going straight at least per turn.
All under the watchful eye of the ITV4 camera crew who were filming the action
presumably for an air feature. I did however feel extremely dizzy, and promptly
rushed to my bag of jelly babies. How people go about eating healthily at
evening darts tournaments will always remain a mystery, certainly the range of
fast food on offer at the bar hardly appealed.
The time struck 7pm…it was
time for the draw.
I’m not entirely sure how
one goes about arranging 109 darts players into some semblance of order but if
there’s one man who knows how then it is Paul Butler. Darts competition
organisers are unsung heroes of this game and they need more recognition for
their sterling work in my view. Armed with a spreadsheet (which he designed
himself) and a bag of balls (no jokes there…) Paul blasted through the draw on
the microphone with efficient gusto, we’d be underway straight after.
When my name was called I
didn’t recognise my opponent. This could of course be disastrous or in fact excellent.
An unknown quantity lay ahead. Maybe I would get lucky? Or maybe my previous
nine darts open 1st round exits was about to reach double figures.
I hung around my board to
see the opening action and catch up with the hordes of spectators and
supporters. One of whom was Dave Parletti who I recently interviewed for the
podcast, and qualified for the UK Open from Twickenham. Two chaps commented how
well I was doing in warm-up. It was nice to hear…although they then added that
I throw weirdly. Not a good sign that, must sort that out.
The first game involved
Matthew Atkins, who I would imagine is a super league and probably county
player. He triumphed 4-0 averaging 65.3 and was 44% on doubles – an eye
watering standard that seems worlds apart from my level. I was encouraged
however that his opponent average 46…maybe I might get lucky after all.
The next game almost
seemed too good for a 1st round encounter. Lee Williams, who I’d be seeing a lot of this
evening won 4-1 against Colin Wallace. A 69.8average played a 64.9 but it was
perhaps Lee’s 40% on doubles that proved the difference. Again both would have
thrashed me.
It was nice to score a few
of the opening games, Alan Casey and Ben Burton have been very kind in their
feedback about it so I’m glad to see there is interest. But there would be no
live scoring on the next game…for I was up next.
Just before starting, I
noticed Ned Boulting and the ITV crew had setup camp next to a pillar to gain a
view of the unfolding action. I took this chance to tell him that I think ITV
do a good job of their UK Open coverage. Or at least he does for his
interviewing. On the whole I think their presentation is very good, it is just
the fact they only cover one board which is a major drawback. It would be
amazing if the 2nd stage was at least available on the red button,
never mind the eight that used to be available on Sky when it was in Bolton.
But anyway, he seemed appreciative….onto the game…
What would follow would be
the most surreal 15minutes of my darting life so far. As I say, I didn’t know
the guy I was playing which can either spell trouble or provide a slice of good
fortune. It proved to be the latter. The oddities kicked off with the chalker…who
wasn’t the guy who had just lost. This threw me slightly, although I have been
a previous beneficiary of the “Chalk for fiver” unwritten code at tournament
darts. I was thrown completely however when after my opponent’s 3rd practice throw, the
chalker wrote down his score of 22.
“Oh have we started?” said
my opponent.
I shook my head in disbelief.
I shook my head in disbelief.
“Oh you haven’t started?
Ah I wondered why you didn’t go for the Bull” replied the chalker and proceeded
to rub the score out.
Good start then.
He won the bull with
something that wasn’t very close to the bullseye and we were off. My opponent
was wayward, very few darts went anywhere near the twenties. A horrifying
thought went through my head…I might actually stand a chance. On reflection this
was probably for the worst. I threw terribly…scores of 20s and 30s and some
single figures to boot, I was starting to panic. I was sweating, feeling faint
and shaking all in equal measure. If I was playing a County standard player
there would be no pressure but in this scenario I was the more senior of the
two of us…the pressure was all on me. 30 darts each later and both of us were
still in the 200’s. This was a disaster, at least a Superleaguer would have
long since put me out of my misery by now.
While this was going on,
my opponent’s friends were at the side-lines shouting for their man at every opportunity.
I was a bit worried other players would think they were with me. Goodness knows
what the other boards thought of this. It was starting to get to me. One of
them had even had a small but professional looking camera with a light
attachment shining it at us filming our every move. After another throw of 26,
I glanced up to see the ITV4 camera crew looking on. Ned Boulting had noticed
our whiteboard and I’m fairly sure was trying to hold back the laughter. I saw
him lean into his accompanying cameraman….who then duly started filming our
rapidly filling up scoreboard. In fact it was so full, the scorer had to scrub
out the top part of the board to make space for the new scores.
How had it come to this? I
was playing the worst darts of my life and I had two cameras filming me and a
crowd of people cheering my opponent’s every effort. I wanted the ground to
swallow me up.
Suddenly, however, a
breakthrough. A treble 20 finally went it probably by more luck than judgment
and a turn later I scrambled to double 2. After a few misses, it sneaked in. I
was stunned. I was actually winning this match. I stood there waiting for the
marker to acknowledge that I finished.
Nothing. He remained
motionless.
I walked a step.
Still nothing
I walked up to the board and pointed
to the dart.
“Are you going to give that” I asked.
“Oh yes!” he replied cheerfully and
then ticked against my name. I’m still not entirely sure what was going on
there.
In the next leg, my opponent and I reached
under a hundred at the same time. This caused my opponent’s entourage to start
shouting finishes at their charge that they’d printed from the Internet.
“Treble 19 mate….Richard Ashdown
innit!”, came the incoherent cry. I had to intervene.
“Look guys, I don’t mind but you can’t
shout that out. I’m not at a high level, but you are not allowed to help the
players like that the side and its off-putting to the other matches”. They were
genuinely apologetic and remained silent thereafter.
And that was basically that. I
continued to throw complete dross in the direction of the board as did my
opponent. We even missed the entire board on occasion for good measure. But
just occasionally I would hit one treble 20 (one being the key number)…and in
this case it proved to be enough, and after another two legs under my belt (all
of which I have recollection of) I was somehow on double 2 to win the match.
The dart crept in and I stood there
dumbfounded. I had won 4-0. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't planned for this. I
walked up to my opponent and shook his hand, centimetres from my face was the Itv4
camera crew filming this very moment nearly blinding me with their lighting rig.
Oh how I hope it ends up on the cutting room floor.
The crowds began to evaporate as the 2nd
round kicked in. I played my 2nd game at 10ish and it was over 10.15. My vanquisher was Lee Williams.
I have to say Lee plays the game in the way it should be. Relaxed, care free
and a consistent cracker of jokes with the chalker - more people should play
darts like Lee in my opinion. He was brilliant, I was not, and he ran way 4-0.
I played marginally better than my 1st round struggle but was only on double
figures in one of the legs. But I was happy, I'd won a game (even If it was a
fortunate draw), and frankly that was enough for me given the state of my darts
at the moment.
Now onto chalking.
Leaning against the wall trying not to
faint (I was flagging by this point) I marked Lee’s board final against Dave
Bailey Jnr which was hard fought but the former edging through. It set up a
last 16 match against ex-tour card holder John Scott. Just when I thought
I was in the clear and free to do live scoring, Dave Bailey waved a fiver in my
direction for his chalking duties and like the tightwad that I am…I took it and
headed back to the board of the white variety.
Lee and Scott went toe to toe although
both would be first to admit that they were under par. Both had been there for
five hours by this point and won three games apiece, I’m sure it must have
taken its toll. John came back from 2-1
down to prevail 4-2.
As it struck midnight and I looked
around the now sparse Rileys, it hit me just how dedicated dart players need to
be to make it to the top. The last train home had long since disappeared and the
tournament had gone on for nearly five hours. You certainly can’t fault the
dedication of these guys chasing a chance to mix it with the pros.
One thing I haven’t quite got to grips
with as a fan at these Opens is the brutal nature of what the players have to
go through. With only two real winners on the evening, the stark reality is
that 107 players will go home miserable. Players that I normally cheer from afar
including former UK Open entrants Alan Casey, Aaron Turner, Ben Burton, Dave
Askew, Paul Amos and Steve Mead had all been knocked out by the time the
semi-finals came round at 1am. I found it heart-breaking in all honesty.
Alex Roy would eventually qualify after a brisk win over Surrey’s Dave Webb. It meant that he would have competed in all the UK Opens since the tournament began in 2003. No mean feat.
On the board I was scoring, John Scott battled out a worthy winner against former tour card holder Chris Aubrey 5-2. It would be his third UK Open appearance.
It was great to stay till the end to see
John and Alex securing their spots. It clearly meant so much to them, and it
was wonderful to see….although at 1.30am I’m still not entirely sure how they
made it home. And as for me, well I hope to be back at a UK Open qualifier next
year, it remains an absolute highlight of my darting calendar.
Post Script
At the UK Open itself, John narrowly
lost out to Dean Winstanley while another Podcast guest Dave Parletti lost to
an in form Josh Payne. But Alex Roy did make it to the third round to get “in
the money” after terrific victories over Dennis Smith and Jeffrey De Zwaan.
